We all know domestic violence is alive and well. We also know we don't understand it. How and why people stay, yes men are victims of domestic violence just as women are. Society doesn't understand why victims of emotional and or physical abuse stay. We question the reasoning of staying to be hurt again and again.
The self worth of domestic abuse individuals is so low that something is better than nothing, and the known is far better than the fiercely debilitating fear of the unknown. Knowing the outcome is far better than going into an abyss and not knowing how to step, or how to feel which can be excruciatingly painful; far more painful than any hit, cut, or emotional hit can ever be. Accepting the negativity and having that connection to someone, even an abuser, is far better than being alone and lonely in this world. We all need a connected feeling, even if that connection is severely broken and splintered off, it is still a connection the receiver needs and craves.
Getting to a point of self worth takes time, effort, and many restarts. Self worth is not an overnight accomplishment, it takes learning to stop the nasty voices. The positive has to be brought to the forefront of your consciousness, and needs to be loud enough to drown out those negative thoughts & ideas, many of which were not put there by you anyway. Self worth can be a constant battle and relearning how to treat yourself a constant reminder of what someone said or did to you, all at your approval.
Accepting that you allowed yourself to be treated that way, and forgiving yourself for not having the inner strength at that moment is paramount to your stepping forward. Becoming self aware and knowing why you allowed the abusive behavior is a step in the right direction towards not allowing it to continue or happen again.
There are no quick fixes to this potentially dangerous and fatal behavior, only you can alter your perception, and only you can change it.
You may be your own worst critic or enemy; but you are also your own fiercest, staunchest and most loving supporter.
Those tapes in your head that constantly play, if they aren't loving, positive and supportive need to be erased and silenced
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