Knowing who you are and why you do what you do is exhilarating and thought provoking to say the least. I have always known internally who I am, only recently have I come to understand externally my position in life. I am the defender, the protector and the bouncer for those who can't or won't defend themselves in any type of situation. I put myself in front of others to take the brunt of any attack and shield them. Recently, I found out that I do it instinctively, without any forethought whatsoever.
We all have our roles to play, understanding which role and knowing how that will guide you can be an interesting process. This amazing ride has its many twists, turns, false starts, and whirlwind spins, but it is such a joy to see each moment what is around the corner.
I am one who is impatient, controlling, loud and not detail oriented in the least. I know this about me and accept it.
Recently I was reunited with friends I grew up with, we have been together for more years than any of us are willing to admit to. The four of us have not been close geographically, but when we met it was as if no time had passed between us.
It was such an amazing moment of time for me. I was so comfortable, relaxed and so true to myself being with those 3 incredible women. Our dynamic is so fundamentally sound and complete it astounds me. We have gone through our own trials and tribulations and still accepted each other for who we have become as mature adults.
1) We have the Leader: she knows what we are going to do and when, she has it planned out in her head down to the smallest minute detail.
2) We have the Pacifist: she will agree to a destination, voice her opinion, and if it fubars will be the one to remind us all, she is the sensitive one
3) We have the Comic: she will release the tenseness of any situation with a wise crack, she is the life of the party
4) We have the Defender: she protects with her overbearing presence, and makes sure no one maligns or hurts any one of them
I started looking at how relaxed and comfortable I was with these women, and realized precisely why. I could just be me and do what it is I am suppose to do. Being in this group allows me to exist as I am. I have all the trust and faith that each of them will do their part that I do not have to intervene and take on one of their duties.
The leader is such a terrific and gifted leader. She believes she knows what we need to be doing, when and why. She is right and doesn't boast, brag or puff up her presence, she does it with such grace and charm you don't even mind it, and will jokingly laugh and quip about her role. She makes a great leader, she doesn't abuse it and grudgingly accepts our public statement of her role.
The pacifist is absolutely adorable and brilliant in her role. She will question almost everything, she will voice her opinion, concern and view with such an unassuming posture that it is accepted without much pomp and circumstance. She is also the one reminding us of her concerns if anything worked out less than what we expected. She is the most sensitive and softest of us all.
The comic: is stupendous and she does it magnificently. She will sense when a situation is getting to be too much and will make the most outrageous comment or wise crack. We are laughing so hard that the intensity is immediately lessened and usually resolved to ashes. Her comical approach to life, situations and attitudes keeps us all lighter in spirit.
The defender instinctively protects the group. She would never allow anyone to disrespect, harm or mistreat any one of them. Even when she believes one of them may be wrong in doing or saying something. Publicly she would defend them to the end, privately she would speak and let her feelings be known. No one outside of us would be any the wiser.
These women I am honored to call friends are the epitome of class, grace, humility and utter awesomeness. I wonder what I did in my life to be so deserving of the company of these women. I have so much respect and love for them, they are all successful and terrific human beings. Describing our group in no way shape or form is meant to be perceived as negative. I am in awe of these three.
I can be just me when we are together because I don't have to worry about making a group decision, the leader does that and I have all the faith and trust in her judgment. I don't have to question any situation, the pacifist will do that, and her sentiments I carefully and unquestioningly listen to. I don't have to lighten up or lessen the intensity of any travels, the comic will do it and she does it so easily and so beautifully it is amazing to witness. I do have to defend and protect, which is what I am supposed to be doing. I can truly be me, without the added stress or strain of doing someone else's job.
I felt so alive, and so me when I was with these incredibly beautiful, loving, strong and enduring women.
Without knowing it they were helping me to get through another lesson in life, I will be eternally grateful for the chance I was given to be with them and spending the time together that we did.